When we hear of unbelievably shocking wedding and divorce related stories, mainly from our acqaintances or from our social circle, normally, our reaction is of sympathy, after the initial shock subsides. Right? What is the next thought? “If it were I, I would have been more aware…I would have done this or that & would not let it happen…it can never happen to us/me…” etc.
Here, most of us are wrong.We tend to assume that such things can never happen in our life because:
1. We think we are enough smart to allow grave mistakes to happen in our lives.
2. What bad have we done to others that bad things would come our way?!
3. Our trust on our close friends would never turn into a betrayal towards us.
4. We have checked enough regarding the groom’s background & his family too… All the reviews are excellent!
5. Before anyone else grabs this groom, we should hurry or else we may not get such a great opportunity the next time.
6. Why..? Even the kundli matches perfectly.It can never go wrong.
This is where we are all mistaken.When all seems to be too good to be true, it ACTUALLY IS.
We even tend to curb & subdue the warning bells that sometimes goes ‘ting…’ in our head. Therein lies the danger.We ignore it and conveniently forget it in the excitement of newly found relationship and we get engrossed in other details like how will the wedding take place, who to call, what will be the venue, and menue…& what not.We dont have time to pay attention to tiny warning bells…
Our mind also plays tricks with us. How?
We find excuses ourselves if we find something objectionable or, not to our liking. We blame to other things but will not doubt the intentions of the groom or his family or the mediatory, for that matter. Especially, this is applicable to arranged marraiges, in India.
As the days near to the wedding, the question doesn’t arise at all for the brides’ side to raise objection, however humbly even if need be. They worry about spoiling relations, spoiling the image & impression, mood & jovial atmosphere too.Brides’ parents hold the unwritten responsibility to please the grooms’ family and there demands, once the wedding is fixed.Another psychology too works here with negative undercurrents: Adjustments has to be made in every relations…being tolerant now, would later make the bride happy in the grooms house, once the wedding is over…blah..blah…
( More about this topic, in my next article, in continuation of this…)
© Gaurangi Patel
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