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Rajinikanth Jokes and One Liners

Very few of us that the real name is spelled as Rajinikanth and not as Rajnikant. But to those who are his fans, this makes no difference, does it? Well, the latest film of him “Robot” created a great mania about him that overnight, superficial jokes and one liners about him started to flow through SMS, email and websites. And I must admit that they are indeed funny.

For the SpeakBindas readers as well as Rajinikanth fans, here is the big list of such one liners and jokes about Rajnikant. Do enjoy.

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.

7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.

8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.

10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.

13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.

16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.

18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.

24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.

25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.

30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.

33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.

35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.

37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.

42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.

46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.

48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks.

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.

51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.

53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.

61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.

62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.

64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.

66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.

67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.

69. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.

70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.

77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

78. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

79. Rajinikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.

80. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.

81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

82. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.

83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.

84. Rajinikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.

86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.

87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.

90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.

94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.

95. Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

99. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

About

Devang Vibhakar is the Founder and Editor of www.SpeakBindas.com. He has interviewed more than 350 people. His effort was recognized by Limca Book of Records, twice. He has been to Scotland as well as Germany as part of vocational & cultural exchange programs and has compiled five books so far. He's passionate about bringing forth interesting stories & interviews of entrepreneurs to avid readers of SpeakBindas. He can be reached here.

34 thoughts on “Rajinikanth Jokes and One Liners

  1. T A Ramesh says:

    Robot is Rajnikanth!

  2. Azeu n Aug. says:

    Rajinikanth can swim on the land and walk in the sea.

  3. Azeu n Aug. says:

    Rajinikanth does not believe in ghosts but they believe him.
    Rajinikanth dress gets ironed as soon as he wears it.
    Rajinikanth can pray with one finger.
    Rajinikanth can be seen in colour in black n white tv.

  4. Azeu n Aug. says:

    Rajinikanth wears black sun glass made of iron.
    Rajinikanth birdthday the whole year 2012.

  5. Rahul Verma says:

    Rajnikanth can make any lady pregnant via Bluetooth…!!

  6. Ang n aug says:

    Rajnikanth ‘s underwear has only one hole.

  7. SIDDHARTHA says:

    ‎||RAJNIKANTH CHALLISA ||

    || YADA YADA HI DHARMASYA
    GLANIR BHAVATI BOLLYWOOD/TOLLYWOOD ||

    ||ABHYUTTHANAM ADHARMASYA
    TADATMANAM RAJNIKANTHAM ||

    BHAWARTH: JAB AB JAB BOLLYWOOD/TOLLYWOOD PE PAAP BAREGA
    JAB JAB LOG ADHARM KE RASSTE PAR CHALEGATAB TAB PARAM SHRI “RAJNIKANTH JI” WILL COME IN THE SCENE (IN SOME FORM OR OTHER.LIKE ROBOT AND SHIVAJI ) or INCARNATE HIMSELF

  8. J says:

    The entire movie anaconda was shot in Rajnikanth’s pants

  9. J says:

    Scientific community’s question “Which liquid turns solid on heating?” , answered by Rajnikanth – DOSA

    1. pradnya says:

      only rajnikanth could answer this, not the normal ppl………….

  10. Adhirajsinh H. Jadeja says:

    Obama request to INDIA: plz u take all power of America against of RAJNIKANT……..(America want to adopt RAJNIKANT)

    1. Devesh says:

      now this is a called rajini’s style …..

  11. Krishna Gopal says:

    Indian Space Research Organization ISRO…. closed up……Why
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Coz Rajinikant took all the Rockets for Diwali….

    1. Devesh says:

      and what happened to the rockets from Nasa

  12. Devesh says:

    rajini can burn the water that the rajini style …….

  13. Devesh says:

    Rajini has a Rocket in his home which is parked on the trace of Mr. Rajini Kant …..
    And with it he goes for a ride to Different planets to meet with his alien friends in sreach of dhoop….

  14. fz says:

    Rajinikanth has thought of changing his name, b coz therz nothing rajiniCAN’T !!

  15. FZ - FAIZ says:

    !@#$^%^%#@$&^^&*&^*())_+:?”{#
    WTF, MY STATUS HAD AN ACCIDENT WITH RAJINIKANT AND NOW IT ONLY WRITES IN CAPITAL LETTERS !!!!!!!

  16. Asharaf Pathan says:

    Once Time had race with Rajinikanth…………………………….
    Time still running………………

  17. zeeshan says:

    bermuda triangle is place where rajni born……

  18. zeeshan says:

    EINSTINE is a last bench student of RAJNI’S institute

  19. zeeshan says:

    WORLD famous SUPER HEROES like he man, super man, spider man,bat man etc. get’s coaching on RAJNI home

  20. zeeshan says:

    rajni can run bycycle without tyres at the speed of 10000 km/milli second.

    estimated

  21. Krishna says:

    one girl lost her virginity….




    Rajnikanth found and return it to her.

  22. pspk says:

    Rajini can drill rocks with his fist.

  23. psp.kumar says:

    Rajini can drill rocks with his finger nail.

  24. Prakash says:

    Rajnikanth can see a microscopic particle with his naked eye.
    Once press ask Rajni sir you dont felt angry when u read jokes about you,
    Rajni smile and replied=Do you think that are jokes.

  25. tarun ag says:

    once in space , rajini encountered a black hole , and the hole vanished,

  26. You know how “Rajni Gandha” created??

    1. Answer Is says:

      want to know how RajiniGandha Paan Masala is discovered

      एक बार रजनीकान्त ने जोर से पादा और पाद सुपारी की फैक्ट्री मै गुस गया

      आज वोहि मसाला मार्केट में Rs 6/- पर पैकेट में मिलता है
      ….

      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      नाम है ” रजनीगंधा…”

  27. rajnikanth says:

    East India Company left India in 1947, Because Rajini was supposed to be born in 1949.

    WOW……..
    A Special and Amazing Website on Rajnikanth Jokes.

    Do visit at http://www.rajnikanthjokes.org , and leave your comment and feedback.

  28. riya says:

    i love him
    rajini is the best hero for me

  29. riya says:

    rajini rocks
    i think he is more popular now then chuck norris
    . i love rajini styles

  30. sana says:

    Rajnikant is the secret of Boost’s energy…
    complan is Rajnikant’s boy…..

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About

Devang Vibhakar
Devang Vibhakar
(Editor, www.SpeakBindas.com)
SpeakBindas is a Limca Book of Awards winning blog. It's a PR3 blog with 1000+ articles & Interviews. Devang Vibhakar - Founder - has interviewed more than 350+ people and has been to Scotland, London & Germany. He's a writer, speaker, traveler & movie-goer !! He has also written four books. He's passionate about bringing forth interesting stories & interviews of people from various sectors of life to avid readers of SpeakBindas. You can reach him here .