My favorites ones are 11th & 21th. Which one’s yours?
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
4. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
5. They say life is unsure; so always eat your dessert first.
6. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
7. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
8. It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
9. I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork.
10. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
11. The guy who invented the first wheel was …., the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
12. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
13. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
14. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
15. Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon!
16. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
17. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
18. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder!
19. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers.
20. The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker.
21. Someday is not a day of the week.
22. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
23. To Err is human, to forgive is not the Company policy.
24. The road to success…. Is always under construction.
25. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.