For many Indian women the subject of sex is taboo. They are brought up to believe that the sexual act is dirty and something that is to be discussed only in hushed whispers. Consequently, there is widespread ignorance.
The ignorance is so great, that I have seen women use vaginal’ gel and spermicide on their fingers!
Most young women believe that any thing they want to know about sex can be gleaned from their husbands and they are consequently reluctant to seek information elsewhere. Unfortunately, the men are multiply in a vicious cycle.
What are these misconceptions? Here I am listing them and also trying to clear up some doubts on certain old wives’ tables.
“In my practice, I have found that among women the most common problems are myths regarding virginity. I know at least 20-25 couples whose marriages almost broke up because there was no bleeding during intercourse.
The myth that a broken hymen means loss of virginity has caused undue misery and embarrassment to several women”.
Couples also come to me for problems regarding lovemaking. “Of all my patients 78 % have an actual physiological problem, the rest suffer from psychological blocks in the mind which comes in because of various misconceptions and beliefs“.
One common complaint for many women is painful intercourse “The problem arises chiefly because the husband is impatient and avoids foreplay. The next time the woman is tense and anticipates the pain; this makes the complaint even more painful. The result is that the husband gets annoyed and brands his wife as frigid.
Coming to the subject of menstruation, how the monthly cycle could affect a woman’s mood and her sexuality. Premenstrual tension affects some women who complain of breast tenderness, nausea, backache and irritability. There is a feeling of discomfort in the pelvic region and the emotional disturbances can inhibit her sexuality.
Other women, however, find that their sexual drive is enhanced, resulting from an increased pelvic congestion, which increases pelvic awareness, without causing discomfort.
Sex during menstruation is perfectly safe and natural if both partners desire it. Some women believe that sex during pregnancy is harmful. However, a healthy woman with a normal pregnancy can safely indulge in it. However, it should be avoided if there is pain or bleeding at any stage. If there is any history of miscarriage, then sex must be avoided during the first trimester.
One note of warning from me. If, for any reason, intercourse has been forbidden by the doctor during pregnancy the woman must take care to avoid having an orgasm by any other means, including masturbation. The contractions of the uterus following masturbation are far more intense compared to normal sexual intercourse.
For questions relating to sexual intercourse after the birth of the baby, I am listing the following Don’ts…
Do not indulge in sexual intercourse until the episiotomy scar has healed. (An episiotomy is an incision that is often made to ease the birth of the baby).
Do not rush into sex if the woman does not feel like resuming normal sexual activity. Pregnancy and giving birth to a baby are deeply demanding experiences and she needs time to resume her normal life-style.
I also like to clear the air regarding questions about pregnancy. Can a woman conceive if she has not actually had sexual intercourse? The answer is “Yes” if at any stage of heavy petting the sperm is deposited near the vulva.
They can pass through the minute hole of an intact hymen and travel the full length of the vagina and uterus.There is a misconception that men are more sexual beings and that, therefore it is the male prerogative to indulge in extramarital affairs.
However, women, freed from sexual taboos and constraints are also capable of equal enjoyment. After an orgasm there is a refractory period when a male is incapable of immediate arousal but a woman is capable of multiple orgasms if adequate stimulation is provided.
Written by Dr. Paras Shah.
About: At present, Dr Paras Shah is Chief Sexologist of Gujarat Research & Medical Institute (Rajasthan Hospital) & Director of Sannidhya Institute & Research Center for Sex, Sexuality and Health.He is the worthy son of eminent surgeon Dr K K Shah whose successful career has been in existence for decades in Ahmedabad.
You can reach to him at:
Cell: +91 98240 63332
Website: www.s4sq.com & http://www.impotenceinfocentre.com