Now I Rock – to Myself

Sometimes, after some period of time, we have to re-build our original personality, who we are in real, because time and situations do change us, and we can’t even realize it until we find ourself stuck up with the kind of person we are not, what we have become. There were times, when we were what we were, and then time comes when you are what others have made you, and you too are aware about it and still became it, as sometimes society rules over you, but then instead of giving such bullshit crap reasons of failure, if we indeed realize this phenomenon, we should start regaining and recollecting broken pieces of our original existence, original personality, don’t you think so? I guess, I should start with myself first 🙂 🙂

Recently, I was given this thought by couple of old friends who knew me the way I am not at present in totality. They said that, they found me more adjustable kind of guy who I am not in my natural way. This made me think about it for a while and I found out that they are so damn right!

I mean, I never used to be kind of person who would give a damn to a thing he doesn’t like. I mean, my communication and way of approach was direct, without any miscommunication nor with the communication to make others feel good or so, but then, as I grew (for that matter, grew up-side down), I adopted the habit of living for others, I mean, living the way I felt that they would accept me. Fuck! This is not how I used to be, and why the hell anyone should be?

After all, no matter what we do, or what we don’t do, we all got one life. And if at the end of it, I get to feel that oh! shit, I didn’t do it regardless I wanted to or say I feel that oh! shit I did it even though I didn’t want to, how shitty I would feel then?!!

Life is meant to be the way you want it to be, live. Every moment counts. And that every moment is full of existence, full of approvals from your side because that’s your fucking life. You shouldn’t live it to make others happy all the time, by killing your original personality.

And I don’t want to blame others here for having such change in our life. It’s just us who are responsible for anything and everything related to our life. No escaping or crying reasons, coz nobody will kill you if you don’t do something, utmost, they would hate you or stop communication if they find it so irritating or whatever, but then, it’s you, who should think twice whether it’s for you or not?

I remember, in early days, my communication style, writing style was full of fun, coz while used to write, I never used to think how would others feel. And you know what? Others used to enjoy it as well. Then, after as I felt that I am somewhat known among some people, while I was writing, the thinking also started that how would they feel about it? Now, this gives me creeps. I mean, if I’m writing, why the hell should I bother in advance how would they feel? And hence, the writing found a different shape, which was not original.

But having said this, and having realized this I am on the verge of recollecting all those broke pieces of my original personality, that I used to be, that I used to like about myself. Now, I rock – to myself.